'Welcome To The Justice System' - A poem by Katie Maylea

When the life is drained from a smile,

When victims feel like they’re on trial,

When resuscitation doesn’t soul revive,

Is when survivors don’t really survive,

Ironically could it be that the very system,

That was built to “protect” all the victims,

From weaponised hands and all kind of treason,

Pulls fingers on triggers for not so dissimilar reasons?

Our trust put to abusers and then to authorities,

Who all seem to have their own priorities,

When ours was a mission of truth seeking,

But suddenly we’re silenced again from speaking,

A replay of not so long ago

Again we push down emotions that we can’t  show,

So we drink them, swallow them, cut them out,

Left in limbo minds diseased with doubt,

Take that bottle and and feel it drain,

Away that smile and the pain,

Then throw it at the wall to shatter the shame,

Because we will never ever be the same,

Move on mentalities but waiting years for closure,

Told to “put it in a box until then” and expected to keep our composure?!

Well let’s me tell you what it’s really like,

To be sat waiting on the edge of a knife,

When every tiny movement slices your skin,

When there’s no moving on because  there’s no where to begin,

When abusers still have all their rights,
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or years after ending someone’s life,

Survivors may be breathing but it really doesn’t matter,

Because their whole world has been completely shattered,

The knife edge gets sharper,

The days they get harder,

The abusers get smarter,

Our minds get darker,

Ptsd takes over,

And the one that drove her,

To this non existence -

Still gets to control her,

They manipulate systems,

But that’s not a crime,

Another battle for her to fight -

pretending that she’s fine,

The nightmare continues while waiting for justice,

People come and go saying “just trust us”

But inconsistencies break her just a little bit more,

And she sits and she sobs on her bathroom Floor,

Cos the systems are as broken as she is,

Infact it’s hurting her as much as he is,

She sinks another bottle and throws it at the wall,

Mascara stains as the tears fall,

She wipes them and reapplies it shaking,

Clears up the mess she feels she’s making,

Tomorrow will be better, it’s a new day,

Rinse and repeat that’s what they all say,

But they don’t get that this is never going away,

She kisses her daughter goodnight - she’s hurting too,

Unbearable guilt because we chose to see it through,

And the person that created this scene?

Walks around amongst you completely unseen,

You’d never know, you’d never guess,

You might see him at church in his Sunday best,

Your kids go to his house with ours for play dates,

Because he retains child contact it’s a fucking disgrace,

You might be laughing over a beer at his relationship wisdom…..

A rapist on bail…

Welcome to the justice system.

- Written by Katie Maylea

Click here to watch Katie perform the poem.

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